So in that last video will the three primary components that fundamentally make us of us as human beings.
No.
I don't know how open you are to receiving insights and new information like this because it's going
to be some people watching this course.
They just want academic information.
But here's the thing.
As human beings we are not just a mass of academic information.
No we're not.
We're all made of these minds these wheels these are motions were how a leith's will have thoughts and
all these sorts of things to people in the world are alike.
It's our experiences in life and our interpretation of these experiences that fundamentally differentiates
us that makes us all different.
All right.
So it's not just a set of genetic fingerprints we have with our fingers that makes us different but
it's it's the very substance of our beings.
No harm has come to my attention in recent years.
Been a process that have recognized many people internally process information out and ultimately then
come to the assumptions and the conclusions that they then go on to come to see in life.
As I've already mentioned we don't intentionally go out of our way to screw up our lives do we not.
Absolutely not.
But yet this still happens sometimes.
So if we are able to understand how it is that people fundamentally process information then would better
be able to very quickly become extremely competent been able to see where it is that people were wrong.
So in this video I'd like to share with you what I've come to determine as being a bit inside Old revolution
and this is our at our internal workings if you like.
I see many people believe that life is lived from that side.
And by that I mean many people as I've already mentioned determine themselves by what they do for a
career.
Some people will define themselves by how they feel.
Some people find themselves they're at the core of their identity by their sexual preferences or by
the religious beliefs but also point towards in this course as um I'm actually pointing out words in
a very different direction because what I'm suggesting is and from all we're going to be able to see
is that life is involved from that side then it's actually lived from the inside out there and this
is kind of one of these funny things so I don't know where you stand in terms of spiritual beliefs.
Right.
Would I define myself as being a spiritual man or not in the context of my teaching.
But I do fully acknowledge that there's more than just a bag of flesh and bones bone on ice.
So by this what you have I would like to see myself and you can correct me if you want.
This is just my interpretation of me is that I are a spiritual being inside of a physical body.
All right.
And this is quite a quite an important thing to really consider if you think about it because many people
go through life looking for some sort of spiritual experience.
But what I'm going to suggest is that every experience is a spiritual experience or whether you have
any spiritual beliefs or not.
Right.
No because I'm an imperfect man and not going to be able to communicate this in the perfect way for
you.
Some hope that through this understanding you'll be able to share me and extend me some grace as I do
my best to explain to you how it is that I've come to understand human beings to be in terms of their
internal interpretation of life and events because all people have problems don't they.
If you think about it before considering this this is the foundational belief that life is lived from
that side and then what many people will say and the problems of people will come to you where are external
problems.
This external problem could be job or it could be a family member or a relationship.
It could be the economy.
It could be it could be anything.
But what we're seeing here fundamentally is that it's some sort of exter or problem that they have is
affecting them internally.
So in that last video we looked at our body your spirit and our soul.
We understand that internally we are spirit or.
We're not just organs were not just when we're talking about the heart.
We know that our heart is more than just the law again.
How do you explain all of for example the race.
There is just some sort of chemical process as defined by a scientist.
Well let's hope that is not what we're not going to be too human at all.
So what I'm seeing here is that in order to understand ourselves more effectively we've got to understand
how it is that we respond or react to the stuff that happens outside of us because if we understand.
On one level we're going to be able to then better identify it in the lives of other people.
Long winded introduction all over and I hope you still with me.
OK.
So most people are either react or respond than the stuff that's happening outside of them.
For illustration purposes this could be our mind which is just a very bad diagram.
And this man then says something that you fundamentally don't like.
But what I would ask you to do here is come on me with a bit of a bit of an imaginary journey.
Can you do that.
Yeah well enough to do this are you willing to trust me with this with your wife here.
Well let's just say.
All right.
There's a man standing in the same room as you and this man really offends you.
You know remember that video earlier on.
I said all these really nasty words some crude words I swore a few times and said some some quite crude
and uncouth things.
Well this is someone standing in the same room as you seeing all these things to you.
Except this time I'm not for illustration purposes.
He means am I right.
He really means that he really hates you.
He really despises you.
He's insulting you.
He's pulling your party's laying into your variably.
He's calling you names he's put your head down.
Quite up hince know how most people would respond to the.
Stop speaking to me this way.
You're making me feel like a mess.
But what I've been able to illustrate here is that no one in the world can make you feel anything.
Alright this model is how we can really come to understand this because in order for someone to be able
to influence you emotionally I offend you or hurt your feelings or something like that.
We must first be willing to think about and see this they consider what others are saying.
See for example I was to call you.
Immature.
This one here knows you immature.
How would that make you feel if it were to make you feel something.
Well if you think about it you first got to think about it.
Has there been a time in the past when someone else has called you immature.
Is it okay been immature or is it not okay in a mature or if this will Kaybee being immature and you
therefore think that it's okay.
Being immature in life we know going to be offended by that you're going to have no problem whatsoever.
So the problem just disintegrates within minutes few.
But if you think about and think that actually it's not all kids being called immature or no this has
become a problem for you.
No no we're not really looking at why is a problem for you at this stage we're going to be looking up
on a belief and unpacking our beliefs our core identity beliefs through the whole the next section.
And that's I know you are going to find.
Absolutely fascinating.
I hope that you'll continue to stay with me throughout at least the next section of the course you all
about from us sort of seen here as a queer many people respond to the external circumstances and situations
in life and see these things make me feel like that's what I'm seeing here is that this is on true is
incorrect.
It's partially true but it's just not the whole truth because most people don't fully understand themselves
from the inside out.
They are not fully aware of how they are how life sir lived and how their internal processes actually
work because of what some of what I've already illustrated helped you see by now.
Hopefully if you've been paying attention.
Is that what we focus on in life.
We feel so in order to feel something we must first focus on us.
So if you start focussing on this focussing I'm not just talking about you focus on that for I worry
as if you actually focus in on what he says to you.
If you are immature and if you buy into that instantaneously Well you can instantaneously then go on
to fuel something.
So what I'm saying is that every emotional state that you or your future clients quote ever find themselves
in every feel and always stemmed from an initial thought.
I thought about something that happened I thought about something that someone may or may not have said
a thought about you know something that you thought someone else may or may not have intended it you
could have ended up getting the completely wrong end of the stick here and still end up feeling you
know in a horrible way because of it.
But every feeling that we have in life stems from an initial thought.
It's important that we're able to see this in the context of our own life.
Don't just agree with me or disagree with me here.
I'm not just giving you some information this is just my opinion.
This has been based upon years of study and careful research already.
There are many of the greatest thinkers throughout the round of psychology who are actually all seeing
the same or a similar thing just perhaps a slightly different way so not standing alone when a when
to share this with you here there are sort of what would later to a point on to next is what happens
after our feelings because this is our internal process.
We have a thought first and foremost which then leads on to feeling and how we feel is going to then
influence what we say or what we do next.
What I'm saying is here are feelings determine are actions no where there are we have developed maturity
self control or not is going to determine whether we either react.
Which is always going to be a motional an emotional reaction or whether we respond.
Which is always going to be more rational.
Reactions are emotional responses are rational rational responses are well considered a motional reactions
are just sporadic and completely immature.
Okay so just defend the joke.
I do apologize but take the stuff on board.
This is this is really important.
Okay the feelings will then determine whether we react to respond to the situations and circumstances
that we face OK.
Think about it.
Think about the last time someone really offended you.
You would have either fight flight or freeze.
That's what most of the textbooks talk about is that know our immediate response is do we fight do we
flight or do we freeze.
We wouldn't want to suggest here is that there's another alternative because we do not half to be emotionally
ready.
What I'm talking about here is a motional maturity responsiveness because responsiveness is very very
different from reacting to stuff where we respond.
It means that we're taking complete control of the process.
Someone can say or do anything to a second.
They could call us names who could put down the could throw stones at us.
But what I'm seeing here is that we fundamentally have the ability to choose how it is we choose to
respond.
You see someone can speak her dress up in a way that we fundamentally don't like or we don't have to
react or respond at all.
Because think about it if they are choosing to behave in a completely disrespectful or an immature or
a dishonest or an on Integra way or who's that a reflection on you or them.
And the answer is then so it's entirely up to you whether you choose to play an active part in their
immaturity or whether you're just simply respond and walk away because one thing that old shehryar share
with you here is see when someone addresses me.
Someone talks at me or to me in a way that is disrespectful dishonest or immature.
I will put immediately an immediate boundary in place.
I was literally my exact words will be lesson if you want this conversation to continue.
We've got a few moments here to bring the conversation back to a place of maturity respect fullness.
And honesty if the next words that come out your mouth are either dishonest as respect for or immature.
The conversations over are we clear.
So someone else could be seen what they want they could be calling me names it would put me down.
But it's my prerogative but it's my choice to exercise my free will and choose how it is that I respond
to that.
I get to choose the actions that I take no one else is responsible or to blame for what I do or what
I say my actions my behaviours my emotional responses or reactions are my responsibility and yours are
yours and your clients are your clients your children's children's.
Your friends are your friends.
What I'm seen is here is that we're all fundamentally solely responsible for how it is that we choose
to either respond or react to the situations and circumstances that we find ourselves in throw a life.
But the problem is is that many people are unwilling to take responsibility for the part that they play
and the problems that they face.
And you could go on to master all their coaching exercises and the techniques and the models and you
can understand all this stuff from the inside out.
It's if your client is unwilling to take responsibility for themselves and the power that they're actively
playing in shaping their life through the actions that they take and there's nothing you can do because
look at their eyes the actions that we take whether we respond rationally or react emotionally is going
to determine the outcomes that we're going to experience.
And it's these very outcomes that pose us problems in life.
Because if we are fundamentally not getting the outcomes that we want will this is the problem for us.
And it's these problems are people are going to continue if full life coaching sort of you know comes
at people half they will then want to think about which will then lead on to further emotional states
and I'm hoping that by now you're able to see that this actually can become a completely vicious circle.
So unless someone is willing to engage with you in a mature responsible and respectable way there's
nothing you can do with them anyway that you can change them.
You can't fix them because they're not brought Ken.
The most crucial rule that you can play in someone else's life is just simply helping them to understand
the extent of the choices that they do harm which are incidentally always only ever in reaction or response
to the feelings that they ultimately have sought.
This is what I call the inside out revolution model always the self awareness model.
This is our internal process.
This is how we fundamentally work.
No I could give you a quiz or an exercise here or I'm really going to ask you to do is take a few moments
take a few minutes to really consider how this model works and the work works itself in the context
of your own life.
Think about the last time you had a problem think about the problem.
AMY Oh come all right there may be something even harp in those side of you may mean something that
was completely outside your control.
But then what I would like you to do is just follow this process.
Make notes.
And then in the job when the learning log What was the first thought that you may have thought and how
would that have influenced how you went on to feel your feeling dejour react to the feeling audigier
respond rationally to it.
What actions did you take or not take.
What did you say.
What did you do.
And what was that outcome is the outcome something that you wanted.
Was it something that you didn't want.
And then how this cycle better prepared you it.
No listen this is the vicious cycle.
This is the loop that many people get stuck in in life because they assume that they're not responsible
for themselves in life.
Many people think that it's on a people's fault for making them feel with a certain way.
But this is the ultimate model for self awareness if we fundamentally get this and see this then we
can see that we alone are solely responsible for how it is that we choose to respond to react to the
situations and circumstances that we find ourselves in in life.
And it's you raw and responsibilities a life coach to help other people stand to understand this also
because if you don't help other people stand to help understand this then then they potentially may
go on to become completely dependent and in need or for you to fix them because they assume that there's
something wrong with them that they're broken that they're incapable of healing themselves or fixing
themselves and that my friend is not a healthy stance to take in life.
So there is a means by which we can bust this whole model right.
All pain.
Very very quickly.
But I do believe for this video of probably TOC and nothing no I've dumped a lot on you.
So take a few moments to consider all of this.
And I'm just build upon this building of a deeper and deeper with yet and the next video.